Digging up dirt.

I have some thoughts...

I have been gone from that church for over a year now and I am realizing that I am still stuck there.
What got my goat?
That churches Christianity.
I am confused by it.

All those studies on godly character written by well meaning authors.
Finding out that Noah suffered from depression.
Weekly meetings with a pastor there.
Being told that I am like Terrel Owens, yet I was cooperating and submitting to every single requirement.
Right down to cutting my hair and trimming my beard.
Just asking simple questions and then being accused of being a fundamentalist.

And that church reaches out to the community.
Not with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, but with chainsaws and fun and amusement.
But I was told that I talk to much.

I struggle.
Every stinking day I struggle.
But don't say anything about it.
You don't want them to know and they don't want to hear it anyway.

 So whats my problem?

 Does that church represent Jesus?
They might, but not to me.

Did I really hear from God?
If not what was I trying to prove by staying where I was not wanted?

I guess I am the problem.
Maybe I will just stay in my garage and let the real Christians change the world for the better.

Good luck with that one.